


Good Mourning

by Dream_nootInnit



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cannon Divergence, DreamSMP - Freeform, Enderman, Gen, Hybrid Philza, Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Minecraft, Origin Smp - Freeform, PTSD, Platonic Relationships, Real Life, Respawn, Roleplay, Shulker, Temporary Death, Trauma, avian - Freeform, mermaid, no beta we die like men, rebuilding relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-27 22:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30129519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_nootInnit/pseuds/Dream_nootInnit
Summary: "Papa, tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe.”-----------After the DreamSMP falls far beyond repair, the Watchers scatter the inhabitants across various realms to save them. A handful land in a new land called the Origin SMP where they must navigate life with new abilities and new memories. Old connections are renewed and new paths are forged without the watchful gaze of Dream.
Relationships: Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Other(s), Tommyinnit & Tubbo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	1. Welcome to the ⌿⏃⋏⟟☊ ⍀⍜⍜⋔

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: if anyone involved in this story changes their boundaries with fanfictions and requests this to be taken down, I will do so without hesitation. 
> 
> This is all intended to be platonic! Do not ship minors ESPECIALLY if they have stated they are uncomfy with it! 
> 
> This is a story about the characters of the DreamSMP, not the content creators themselves! There will be references to trauma and PTSD (due to the heavy nature of the DreamSMP lore) so please take care of yourself while reading!
> 
> \-------------
> 
> Story information:
> 
> Anything in Italics are thoughts, messages, or lyrics (Italics and quotation marks). Bolded words are written/heard. "----------" indicate timeskips, flashbacks, or changes in scene. This whole story is written in third person Wilbur's pov.

A cool, chilly breeze brushes against his skin. Like the ghostly whisper of his last world finally saying goodbye. Wilbur feels the grass under his body; feels the solid touch of reality once more. It’s nice.

He opens his eyes to see stars. So many stars illuminating the night sky. Back in the DreamSMP, the sky was blocked by Tommy’s Reverse Sky Coaster and other towers. But here, there’s nothing. Just the sweet scent of nature and the faint chirping of a bird.

The soft sound of a lake lapping at the shore brings Wilbur to turn his head to the side. There is a shimmering body of water, it’s cool nature beckoning him closer. He looks down his body to see his limbs limp and sprawled out on the grass. It’s been so long since he’s had a physical body. His knee twitches as he tries to right himself, but then he remembers he has to obey gravity now. With a heavy sigh, he pushes his body up and sits vertically for the first time in what seems like ages.

A soft splash alerts him to someone’s presence. He turns to see a girl in the lake who wasn’t there before. Her pale pink hair glows in the moonlight and some odd markings show her facial expression. They glow blue and surround her eyes and cheeks, letting him see which direction she's looking. 

Wilbur stands up and slowly trudges forward, his feet dragging in the grass. 

“He-hello?” A soft, wonderful voice chirps. “Who’s there?”

“Niki?” Wilbur gasps, urging his body to move forward.

“Ghostbur?!” She swims forward, bringing herself to the edge of the water.

“Niki!” Wilbur shouts.

His feet stumble over each other until he finally reaches the edge of the lake.

“Will? You’re, you’re solid!” She crows. “You’re alive!”

“Yeah,” Wilbur chuckles breathlessly. “I am.”

Niki’s smile is cut off suddenly by a harsh cough. She appears to be suffocating, yet there’s nothing covering her head.

“Niki? NIKI?!” Wilbur frantically cries, trying to think of something. 

He reaches into the water to take Niki’s hand to try and comfort her, but then she shudders violently and keels over. Her body falls into the water, limp. Void of life.

Wilbur thinks he’s screaming, but he’s not really sure. He can’t hear himself. 

_She’s gone. Just like that._

His hands clutch Niki’s limp arms, completely drowning in his thoughts. Then, her body starts to dissolve. Her soft hair fades into faint particles, hardly visible. The water pushes her to the surface as her mass grows smaller and smaller. Finally, his hands are empty. 

_Niki?? She’s respawning??_

He stands up suddenly and scans the area, looking for her bright pink hair. 

“Will?” He hears her call. “Will?!”

His head snaps toward the sound of her voice. She’s standing in the lake, completely unharmed.

“I think I can’t breathe air,” she says as she swims closer. 

Despite her head being underwater, Wilbur can hear her perfectly.

“I was so scared,” Wilbur murmurs as her hands slides into his. “I thought I lost you again.”

He slides into the water next to her, the cool liquid reminding him of his ghostly form. Back on the DreamSMP, it was always cold. His body felt like syrup as he drifted across the lands. The water comes up to his shoulders, leaving just his head above water. He rests his 

“I missed you, Will.” Niki murmurs, nestling her head into his side. 

They sit under the stars, with Wilbur’s head just slightly above the surface of the water and Niki’s just below, murmuring sweet nothings. After the drama of the Dream SMP, this is heaven. 

Until a chicken falls from the sky.

“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!” A shrill cry rings across the land. 

The pair look into the sky to see a small red dot floating to the ground, small wings flapping frantically.

“Is that Tommy?” Niki asks.

“Sure sounds like him,” Wilbur mutters. “I’ll go grab him and bring him back. We should also plan to search for the others. I don’t think everyone’s in this server.” He takes out his communicator and sees there are 9 whitelist slots. “Counting us three, there's only 6 spots open.”

“If Dream comes back, do you think he'll be just as insane?” Niki asks, worry present in her voice. 

“I don't know,” Wilbur murmurs. “My head’s a lot clearer than it was, though. I think some of our memories are present but our personalities are changed. I don't feel… Out of control.”

He pulls himself out of the water, grimacing at the feeling of wet fabric. After spending some time in the water, he feels more stable on land. Granted, water’s buoyancy helps him a ton with moving around. Walking is still an odd feeling.

“Tommy?” Wilbur calls as he steps into the forest.

“Ghostbur?” he hears a faint voice respond.

_Everyone still thinks I’m a ghost. Fuckin great._

He finds the lanky boy in a large oak tree fighting with some small wings attached to his waist. 

“Wilbur? You’re alive?”

“Yeah, Tommy. I am.” Wilbur grins. “Come on, Niki’s waiting.”

“Wait why are you still transparent? I can see right through you. Are you sure you’re not dead?”

“Huh?” Wilbur asks. “I’m not transparent, I can touch things.”

“Nah dude I can see the flowers behind you. You’re still a ghost.”

“Well I’m certainly not dead. And I can touch stuff. Now come on!”

“I’m stuck, dipshit.”

“Oh,” Wilbur chuckles. “Sorry.”

He moves forward and reaches out to start climbing the tree. Then, he passes through it.

“WILBUR? THA FAUCK?” Tommy crows.

“Tommy?!” Wilbur calls.

“Where did you go?” 

“I’m right here!” Wilbur looks around before looking up and seeing Tommy still in the tree.

_Oh shit, am I IN the tree??_

Wilbur raises his foot and feels a solid force under the foot. The air is pliant beneath him, giving him the option of going up or down apparently. He focuses on rising to the sky before shifting his weight. He feels himself rise, much to his relief. 

“Wilbur this is some bullshit come on where are you?!” Panic seems to rise in Tommy’s voice. 

_He never shows panic anymore. He’s changed as well_. 

“Tommy!” Wilbur calls. “I’m coming!”

A few more steps, and Wilbur is within arms reach. He thinks about being solid again, and he returns to his previous state. 

Tommy screams out of surprise, nearly breaking Wilbur’s eardrums. 

“It’s me Toms!!” Wilbur shouts before repeating his statement in a quieter tone. “I’m gonna get you down from here.”

A few minutes of breaking go by before Tommy drops out of the tree. His baby wings flap furiously, slowing his fall. 

They land in the grass together before Tommy promptly latches onto his brother. 

“Will,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said to you. It's like there was this cloud over my mind, like I was being rewritten. My brain was spouting shit I didn't mean.”

It seems like even though his code got rewritten, his trauma is still here. No physical hints at the abuse he went through is present, though. 

“I know, Toms.” Wilbur pats his head soothingly. “I think Dream rewrote the realm’s code to play out some sick fantasy. All of us were affected. We're out of there now, though. I’m sorry too. For everything I did.”

“What if he comes back?” Tommy asks, scared. 

“I was an admin long ago on SMPEarth. When a world is destroyed beyond repair, the Watchers will intervene. They deal with the admins who were unable to fix the issue and send the inhabitants to a new realm. One where their code is restored. Since Dream, Sapnap, and George were all admins, they aren't coming back.”

“Who all is here?”

“So far just Niki,” Wilbur says before getting cut off by his communicator. “Scratch that, Phil is here too.”

“Do you think Techno will be here?”

“I doubt it. He didn't seem very happy on a survival server. Chances are the Watchers sent him back to the Hypixel realm since that’s where he flourished the most. Now come on, let's move.”

“Alright, where’s Niki?” Tommy asks.

“This way,” He turns around and heads back to the lake. 

Tommy runs into a berry bush, though. 

“How are you seeing shit?” Tommy complains. 

“Huh? I mean I just saw that bush you walked into like a chicken.”

“I can barely see anything!”

“I may have better night vision than you. It seems like I’m a phantom? Almost? I can phase through blocks and stuff.”

They make small talk, theorizing about their newfound traits. Tommy’s wings are small and on his waist rather than his back like Philza’s. 

“Can you slow down?” Wilbur groans. “You're really excited to see Niki again aren't you?”

“I mean kind of? And I’m not walking fast. You're just slow.”

“Your wings are flapping, Toms. I think you naturally walk faster.”

“Really? POG!” He screeches before running to the lake, leaving Wilbur alone in the forest. 

“You bitch.” Wilbur murmurs. 

He makes it back quickly though to see Niki chattering away with Philza. 

“Phil!” Wilbur calls, nervousness dripping into his voice. 

“WILBUR!!” He screeches in return before… Leaping into the air??

Wilbur notices Tommy hits the ground with his hands over his head when Philza launches. Niki instantly is by Tommy’s side, even with her head out of the water, checking on him. He doesn't dwell on that too long and though, because he’s then tackled by his father. 

“Will, you’re alive,” Philza sniffles into Wilbur's shoulder. 

The moment the scent of Philza’s familiar jacket hits Wilbur’s nose, he’s a mess. 

“I’m sorry,” Wilbur whispers through thick tears. “I’m sorry for everything. I'm sorry I went crazy. I'm sorry you had to kill me. I’m so-”

“Will, it's okay.” Philza murmurs, cutting him off. “All of us were different. It's not your fault.”

It starts to rain as they embrace each other. They slowly sink to the ground, unspoken words being shared. 

Their heartfelt moment is interrupted by another ping on their communicators. 

“Ranboo, he’s here.” Wilbur says. “That means 4 more will come.”

“3, Tubbo just landed.” Philza says. 

“I guess we should probably go back to the others.” Wilbur says with a tinge of hopefulness in his voice. 

Philza knows exactly what his son is thinking. He may have become a crappy father in the DreamSMP, but he still remembers their time in the SMPEarth. 

“Once we get everything settled, I want you to come to me when you're ready to talk. I can tell you have a lot on your mind, Wilbur. I know you.”

“Thanks, Phil.” Wilbur nods as they turn to the lake. 

Then, the communicator pings once again. 

**Ranboo burned to death**

“What?” Philza gasps. “That soon?!”

They race to the lake, searching for answers. The sun is rising, revealing the 4 figures standing down by the lake. Niki is submerged once again, and Tubbo is stuck to Tommy's side once again. Ranboo seems to drift toward Tubbo as well, but he's enjoying his chat with Niki at the same time. Then, Wilbur feels himself start to get hot. The rain stops, preventing him from getting any relief. 

“Phil?” He gasps, slowing down. “It’s really fucking hot right now. I think I’m burning.”

“Shit,” Philza mutters before wrapping his arms under Wilbur’s. “Let’s get you to water then we'll figure it out.”

He leaps into the air as Wilbur’s body goes limp with exhaustion. He can barely steer his path and ends up messily crashing into the lake. Wilbur sighs in relief as the chilly water engulfs his body, extinguishing the burning sensation. 

“Will!” Niki yelps, her voice sounding melodic under water.

She grabs his arms and pulls him to shore, making sure to keep his head above water. 

“It's so fucking hot,” Wilbur groans, raising his hand over his eyes. 

“He may be allergic to sunlight,” Niki yells to the group. “Someone get a shelter made!”

“I’ve got one over here,” Ranboo says. “The water burns me. It should protect him from sunlight too.” His voice has a sort of… Enderian warble behind it?

Tommy and Philza carry Wilbur to the shade, taking care not to press on any burns. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. “Hey Ranboo, hey Tubs.”

“Wilbur!” Tubbo chirps. “Hi!”

“Hi!” Ranboo grins. 

“Okay so is everyone here?” Philza asks, cutting through the idle chatter. 

_He must be an admin. He seems to know what’s going on._

“So far, we've only got 4 slots open.” Niki says. “And we've got 5 people here.”

“Alright, we should stick together until it's fully day. That’s when it'll be safest for us to wander around. Do we know how respawns work?” Ranboo suggests. 

“Infinite,” Philza states curtly. “I’m never letting an admin restrict us to three lives ever again.”

A growl reverberates behind his voice as his wings puff in annoyance. 

“Doesn't mean dying isn't painful,” Niki adds. “We should try to limit deaths anyways.”

“Dying is also very complex when left to the realm to handle.” Philza notes. “Depending on how you die, the scars can affect you when you respawn. You need to be careful.”

It goes unspoken to everyone, though. Dying is not fun and it is terrifying. Death inspires everyone like a dog inspires a rabbit. 

“What about these wings? You had wings but why do I have these tiny ass wings?” Tommy asks incredulously, annoyed at the fact that his smaller wings seem useless. 

“I’ll have to sit down and read some of the realm’s code to figure that out. For now, it seems like we all have abilities. We should take some time to figure them out. Does anyone have any theories?”

“I'm still like a ghost.” Wilbur says. “I thought I would be human again. I don't want to be a ghost.”

“I don't think you're a ghost but you're definitely not human,” Tommy says. “You can touch things. And you have your memory.”

“Yeah but I can also do this,” Wilbur starts before turning invisible. 

He just focuses on that ghostly feeling once more and then his body fades from sight. Suddenly, he feels much cooler. Like he isn’t burning or suffering from sunburns. 

“WOAH!” The group choruses, shocked. 

“Tommy can run fast and he doesn't take fall damage.” Wilbur says once he’s visible again. 

“No fall damage, that’s cool.” Ranboo notes. 

“I can't breathe air, but swimming is really easy for me!” Niki pipes up. “I’ve already died once.”

“Me too.” Ranboo adds. 

Everyone goes silent at that. The memories of dying from the last realm still affect everyone no matter how much they try not to. 

“I have these weird shell things,” Tubbo says, breaking the tension. “I can move them but I’m not really sure what they are.”

“I have wings, but I can't fly. I can glide around. I can also do some weird leap thingy.” Philza says. 

“I'm not sure what I can do.” Ranboo says. “Water hurts me, but I don't have enhanced speed or anything.”

“Wait,” Philza says. “That sounds like an enderman. And Will, you sound like a phantom. You burn in the day and can phase through blocks. Uhh, Tubbo. Can you use those pieces as armor?”

“I think?” Tubbo shrugs before shifting the shells to surround his vital organs. 

“Alright, now tell me if this hurts,” Philza says before throwing a rock at Tubbo. 

He shrieks before closing the shell around him tighter and the rock bounces off with no damage. 

“Shulker. You’re like a shulker.”

“What's that?” Tubbo asks as he slowly opens his shell. 

“It’s a mob from the End. They are known for having really tough armor. Ranboo, do you remember your Enderian?”

“Yeah, my dad spoke it to me.” Ranboo nods. 

“Say something to Tubbo in Enderian. I haven't had any practice in a long time.”

Ranboo proceeds to chirp and warble a message to Tubbo. His eyes glow slightly as his native tongue is used. Tubbo’s face draws slack as he seemingly understands the language. 

“I don't know how to speak it, but I know what you said.”

“Alright so that means we all are part mob or something. Wait, someone joined.” Philza says, picking up his communicator. “Charlie, Jack, schlatt. I’ll find them and bring them back here. In the meantime, let's spend today gathering stuff. Get some shelters made, get some food. That kind of stuff.”

Everyone breaks apart, heading into different directions. Wilbur, though, is stuck under his temporary roof. He looks sadly over to Niki, remorse filling his heart. She looks so peaceful but sad in the water. Her shoulders carry a weight unbeknownst to the world. 

“I’ll come over there tonight, okay?” Wilbur calls. “We can make a house together. Live together like good ol times?”

“I would love that.” She grins. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea for where this story is going, but I have no idea how it's going to get there. I wrote this in the car on a Roadtrip XD
> 
> Remember! This is all intended to be platonic! If you see this as romantic, that's for you to interpret!


	2. We are the envy of the Gods above

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew the scene where Wilbur sees Niki for the first time (especially to highlight the glowing markings she has) because I was bored so here's the link:
> 
> https://twitter.com/ghostfox667/status/1372780280738549763?s=21

By sunset, Wilbur has a small hole under the roof Ranboo built. He’s stuck to stone tools until he can go mining, but he doesn't care. In a few minutes, he’ll be able to emerge from the hole. Philza messaged them earlier as well, requesting a community meeting to talk about the realm’s code. 

Wilbur’s foot impatiently taps the dirt as he watches the golden rays grow thinner and darker. In the distance, Niki is splashing around as she gathers materials and starts to build her house. 

He resorts to scrolling through the messages from today. 

**Tommyinnit: does anyone have food**

**Philza: I have a stack of steak, I can fly it over**

**Tommyinnit: I can't eat meat.**

**Tubbo: what??**

**Ranboo: you’ve never had an issue with meat though?**

**Philza: I think I saw something in your code. Your body is now vegan**

**Tommyinnit: WHOT?!**

**Niki: I have some kelp, I can farm it for you to eat**

**Tommyinnit: this is some class A bullshit**

**Philza: has anyone else had any food issues? I think Tommy’s the only one according to the code**

**Wilbur: I need food too but I ate an apple earlier and I was hungry almost immediately**

**Philza: some people’s bodies changed too much. Food is burned much faster in some of you. I’ll go over everything I've found tonight. Meet by the lake?**

**Ranboo: got it**

**Tubbo: ok**

**Tommyinnit: fine just can we start a farm??**

Wilbur groans in discomfort as his stomach growls, seemingly responding to the messages about food. He’s already tunneled around enough to chop down trees and collect apples, but it doesn't help. 

_Why would they send us here of all places? This feels so much harder than life in the DreamSMP. Wait, scratch that. That's false. Life was hell. We were ruled by gods who had no remorse for their subjects._

**_I will become a god just to strike them down and protect my loved ones._ **

_Wait… What??_

**_Hello… Wilbur._ **

_Who are you?_

**_I am you._ **

_No you're not. Get the fuck out of my head._

**_I am the driving force behind your actions. I decide what is necessary to keep us safe. I decide. You have no power against your own mind._ **

_What??_

**_Rest, my soul. You need the energy if we're going to conquer this land._ **

_Wait what? What are you talking about? Hey, come back!_

“Wilbur?” Ranboo shocks him out of the odd encounter. 

“Huh?”

“Are you okay? The sun is down, it’s time for the meeting. I found you holding your head.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was just thinking. Nothing important.”

“Okay, come on.” Ranboo says softly before heading toward the lake. 

“Hey Will, perfect.” Philza says. “So first, we have a situation. Charlie and Schlatt are here, they decided to settle down elsewhere. Problem is, Jack is not here. He is stuck in the nether.”

No one reacts. Everyone probably already knows but Philza likes to be thorough. 

“I think he’ll have no problem coming back since he has not died once. He knows how to make a portal. Now, I noticed a handful of you have food issues. Tommy is vegan and burns through food faster than normal.”

“Oh that's just fucking lovely isn't it??” Tommy groans. 

“Wilbur will burn through food very fast when he’s invisible. Being invisible also prevents burning in the day, so you have to juggle those two.”

“Okay,” Wilbur nods. “That should be doable.”

“And our codes are infused with different dimensional energy. That’s why me, Tubbo, and Ranboo are Enderian. Jack is probably an Inferno. Everyone else is a mix of mobs from the Overworld. Overall, we should be the same as we were before the DreamSMP. Granted, we’ve changed at our core since last realm, but we aren't corrupted anymore. I think that's all, let’s get to work."

They disperse once more, leaving Wilbur and Niki. 

“Do you want to come down? I made an air bubble for visitors.” Niki asks sweetly. 

“Yeah, I have wood too if you need any.” Wilbur says before slipping into the water, shuddering at the sudden chill. 

He dives under the surface, following the glowing girl. Though he has night vision thanks to his Phantom genes, the glowing pattern on her skin makes it easier to follow. She leads him to a small outcropping in the shoreline, gesturing for him to enter. She set up a doorway to allow breathing. 

“Hey Niki,” Wilbur says as he sits on the floor. “I want to know. What do you think of this new world?”

“I think it's amazing. We don't have political boundaries, we don't have any grudges, we all have the same amount of resources so far. We’re all just trying to survive and I think that brings us closer.”

“What do you think…” 

**_This is a stupid question. She's obviously gonna say she hated you for blowing up the whole damn country!_ **

“Of me?”

“What do you mean, Will?”

“What… Do you think of me after everything I did?”

“Will,” she sighs, taking his hand in hers. 

It’s a peaceful yet suspenseful moment. Here they are; a sky hybrid and a water hybrid. Separated by a doorway and a curtain of water. Wilbur feels the air grow stale as he takes long, slow breaths. 

“My opinion of you hasn't changed.”

**_LIAR_ **

“You’re still the goofy man I went on a date with in Stardew Valley. Yes, you messed up. But I understand why. I understood why you did what you did, even without the corruption code.”

**_She doesn't know what she's saying. She knows NOTHING_ **

“Will?”

“Hm?”

“You're gripping my hand quite hard, are you okay?” 

He releases her like she's on fire. He can almost hear the hiss of disappointment as her hand retracts behind the water. 

“Sorry,” he mutters. “Didn't know I was.”

“Are you okay? You seem sad.”

**_Tell her. Tell her you still crave BLOOD to be spilled from the people who wronged you_ **

_She didn't wrong me. I love her._

**_Then why are you sitting here in fear. I can feel your heart. It's racing with tension._ **

“Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind. Being alive and all, you know?”

“How does that feel?” She asks. “Being able to touch things?”

“It's a nice feeling. I never knew how much I missed feeling grass or water. Water made me melt, so I wasn't ever able to enjoy it. Walking is annoying, though. Gravity's kind of dumb.”

She giggles slightly before reaching over to her Wilbur’s hand again. They sit peacefully at the bottom of the lake, the silence comforting. Niki was nice enough to install a skylight in the little cubby, so they stargaze. It's been a while since they've seen the stars. Partially because they could never let their guard down and partially because of all the lanterns over L’manberg. 

“Why do you think Dream did what he did?” Wilbur asks slowly after half an hour. 

“Hm?”

“Do you think Dream needed to feel in power? Like he was a god? That's the only reason I can think of.”

“I don't know, I don't think he was in control of himself. He may have been possessed by a demon like Tubbo claimed. I mean, Bad is half demon so that wouldn't be very hard to believe.”

“But Bad is so nice? He's always in control.”

“Maybe it has to do with him being a hybrid rather than being possessed?”

“Whatever the reason, I hope Dream realized that the fall of a god is inevitable. Kronos knew, he tried to avoid it. His children sent him to eternal damnation as punishment.”

“I think you've been hanging out with Techno for too long,” she chuckles. 

“You’re right, his nerdiness is rubbing off on me.” He joins in the light laughter.

“It's almost midnight,” Niki looks at the moon. “Do you think you should start making a house?”

“I’ll make one on that island,” he points out to an island in the middle of the lake. “And I'll make a little water house so you can visit.”

“That sounds great,” she chirps with a smile. 

“I’ll probably connect it to a little hut like this one as well.” He notes. “I like looking up and seeing the sky, but it's much better with you.”

“Aw you charmer,” she laughs. 

\---------------

Wilbur is on his way back from the dark oak Forest to make his haunted Mansion style house when he hears the familiar wingbeat above him. 

“Phil?” He calls as he looks up. 

Sure enough, the Elytrian is gliding down toward Wilbur. 

“Hey Will, how are you doing?”

“I’m doing good, I’m building my house. May not finish it before sunrise, though. What’s up?”

“I’m just checking on everyone. Wanna make sure everyone is doing okay and transferring well.”

“You’re really taking your job as admin seriously,” Wilbur muses. 

“Yeah, after what happened on the DreamSMP, I really want to make everyone’s lives better. I've noticed a lot want to have the same freedom as on the DreamSMP, like deciding when and where they build or do business. That was the only reason a lot stayed on the server until Dream took over.”

**_Tbh you were a pretty shit admin, Wilbur_ **

_What??_

“So how is it being admin other than that? I know it can be difficult on your first day and all.”

“It's not too bad. I can't imagine you when you were an admin. You had a lot of people to watch over.”

“Eh, I had help. You only have 8, probably why the Watchers chose to only have one admin.”

“Yeah, I am kind of worried about Jack, though. He hasn't messaged much through the comms.”

“He’ll be fine I bet. If he spawned in the Nether, he’s an Inferno type and is built to handle it.”

“It's odd how used to being a hybrid everyone is.” Phil notes. “I’m used to having to hide my wings. Ranboo had to deal with being ‘normal’ and Schlatt had his horns he would get shit for. Here, we’re all hybrids.”

“I don't think anyone really had an issue with hybrids on the DreamSMP. We’re all still close, so that translates over.”

“Yeah, you're right. It's nice though, being able to have my wings out and not worry about them.”

“Hey, I gotta go start on my house. See you later?” Wilbur says suddenly once he realizes they’re by the lake. 

“Yeah, gnight mate,” Philza nods, giving Wilbur a pat on the back. “I’m still here to talk if you need.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

\--------------

Daybreak is the worst time. Wilbur sees the sun rising, and the world is still fairly dark. Theoretically, he should have enough time to get stuff done. His skin, however, disagrees. With a yelp of pain, he turns invisible and dunks himself in the lake. 

“Wilbur?” Niki calls. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just getting to daytime.” Wilbur grumbles as he treads water, searching for the water hybrid. 

“I can’t see you? Where are you?”

“Oh, here.” Wilbur says before holding a stick in his hand. “I’m holding a stick. I’ll try to get some armor today so people can see me during the day.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, coming up next to him. “I expanded the little hole underground and I added some ventilation. There's a shady part as well if you need to rest somewhere today.”

“Thanks, Niki.” Wilbur grins. “I’ll probably be mining today, do you want me to bring any iron?” 

“Yes please! I haven't gotten a chance to make a mine yet, I’ve been trying to section off the lake to keep the fish away from the furnaces.”

“Got it, and would you mind pinging me when sunset is about to start if I’m not back by then?”

“Yep!”

They part ways and Wilbur drags himself on shore. He notices the slight chill that the water leaves behind. 

_I’ll need to be careful of hypothermia. That makes respawning horrible._

**_But it would be such a pleasant way to go? Freezing to death so you don't blow up a Nation sounds better than forcing your father to stab you._ **

_Where the fuck are you coming from?? You don't even sound like me!_

**_I've been with you for as long as you've known. You just locked me out from your memories. All those memories lost as a ghost? I absorbed them. I remember EVERYTHING._ **

_What? This doesn't make any sense._

**_You remember how your twin had voices screaming for blood?_ **

_I don't have voices. I'm not a piglin hybrid._

**_But you are related by blood, are you not? And I am living proof you have a voice._ **

_Do you have a name? An origin? Techno calls his ‘chat’_

**_Just call me your phantom menace. I am the horror that comes out in the darkest of times._ **

_No… This isn't right. I need to ask Phil._

**_What is a puny Elytrian going to know? This isn't a realm glitch. His admin power's won't do shit._ **

_I need to get rid of you._

**_You can't get rid of what kept you alive until YOU blew us up!_ **

_You said you blew us up though?_

**_But you are the host. I am just the parasite. You are the demigod, I am your god. Except I am a god that cannot fall._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm noticing now that Wilbur's "voice" could be interpreted as DID. I am not part of a system and so I would like to separate his relationship with the voice from being seen as alters. If this is too close to DID (coming from a system) feel free to comment what I should change! 
> 
> This is also inspired by Red Herring's video analysis on the Wilbur Soot ARG. Yes, it does feature DID as one of the theories. I'm looking more for this to be a demon possession type thing? (Sorry if this is rambling I don't know the best way to explain it)


	3. I'm a deceased playing victim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember: "-------" are used to show time skips, "scene cuts" (if this was a movie), and flashbacks! Very important to keep track of them in this chapter.

\--------------

“Hey Wilbur!” Tubbo calls, snapping him out of his mining session.

“Huh?"

“I wanted to let you know I’ve got a bar! We’re gonna have karaoke night in a few days once we tell everyone!”

“Ah that’s great Tubbo!” Wilbur grins at the idea.

“I want it to be a special place, where we can all bond and hang out together,” Tubbo says with a soft smile on his face. “After everything that happened, I think we deserve a break.”

“That’s very true, Tubs.” Wilbur nods.

“Alright, I’ll see you later then! It’s in the sky above the hill by the lake.” Tubbo says before turning around and heading back to his place.

Wilbur watches as the boy leaves the dark cave and steps into the sunlight. He sighs, turning back to the coal in front of him.

_ It’s nice we’re making a community that’s supportive. No personal gain, just friends.  _

**_I heard there was… a special place. Where men could go and emancipate._ **

“No, stop,” Wilbur groans, holding his head as images flash through his head.

**_The brutality. And the tyranny of their rulers._ **

\--------------

“As my first decree as EMPEROR! I HEREBY REVOKE THE CITIZENSHIP OF WILBUR SOOT AND TOMMYINNIT!”

“Will?” Tommy looks up at him.

“Tommy, run.” Wilbur whispers, his eyes flickering with fear as their friends turn on them. “RUN!”

\--------------

**_Well this place is real, you needn’t fret!_ **

\--------------

“Here’ where we’ll hide out for now,” Wilbur says as he gestures to the poorly lit ravine.

“Pogtopia.” Tommy declares.

“Alright, yeah. Pogtopia.”

\--------------

**_With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, fuck Eret!_ **

\--------------

“Woah what is this place?” Wilbur gasps.

“Final control room? This is soo sick!” Tommy cheers.

Then, pistons fire and suddenly attackers leap in.

_ There are so many screams. So many. _

A sharp blade pierces Wilbur’s torso, ripping a scream from him. His health is quickly taken away despite his efforts. As he fades away to respawn, he hears Eret’s booming voice.

“Down with the revolution boys, it was never meant to be.”

\--------------

**_It’s a very real and ⋏⍜⏁ blown up_ **

_ Get out of my head. Stop it!! _

\--------------

“There was a special place. Was. I don’t think it could exist again.”

The room echos with Wilbur’s pounding footsteps as he paces back and forth across the room.

\--------------

**_LMANBERG_ **

\--------------

“It was never meant to be,” Wilbur says with teary eyes.

He takes one last look at his father before whipping around and slamming his hand on the little button.

\--------------

**_My Lmanberg_ **

\--------------

A ringing burns his ears, heat scorching his back. He feels the fresh wave of air and sunlight beat down on his skin. In the distance, people are screaming. But in front of him, his father is standing with fear in his eyes.

\--------------

**_My Lmanberg_ **

\-----------

“MY UNFINISHED SYMPHONY, FOREVER UNFINISHED!!!”

\--------------

**_My Lmanberg_ **

\--------------

“Kill me.”

\--------------

**_My Lmanberg_ **

\--------------

“Kilza.”

\--------------

**_My Lmanberg_ **

\--------------

“JUST KILL ME!”

\--------------

**_My Lmanberg_ **

_ STOP STOP IT NOW PLEASE THESE ARE NOT MY MEMORIES WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! _

**_These are your memories. You tried to drown yourself in sorrow to escape the truth. This is your curse._ **

_ These are not my memories. I did not blow up an entire fucking country. _

**_Your friends would beg to differ. You screamed for blood. And it seems your time wandering the world as a ghost has permanently affected your memories._ **

_ What? _

**_Tell me. Do you remember the taste of gunpowder on your lips and the warm blood seeping through your skin?_ **

_ I- I’ve tasted gunpowder before. And I had a hole as a ghost, right in my torso. _

**_There is your proof. You may not believe it, but you still possess the same anger. The same rage you felt all those years ago when you were first exiled._ **

_ Exiled? I thought only Tommy got exiled! _

**_Schlatt cast you out. Do you not remember this?_ **

_ NO! _

**_Well then. This realm just got a little more interesting for me :)_ **

He pulls himself out of the mine, his skin burning from the sunlight. The pain drags him away from the haunting voice in his head.

“Will?” he hears someone call. “WILL! GET BACK IN THE SHADE!!”

He cries in agony as the top layer of skin starts to peel from the sunlight. He feels hands grab at his arms, irritating the skin further.

“This won’t respawn pretty, Will.” 

_ I don’t care I just need to GET THIS VOICE OUT OF MY HEAD _

“Come on son, we gotta get you to water.” Philza grunts as he lifts Wilbur.

Philza brings his wings up over the pair to try and lessen the pain. He sprints to the lake where the emergency roof still stands from the first day.

“Will?” Niki calls, voice wavering with fear as she sees them come closer.

“He’s going to burn to death,” Philza warns as he finally reaches the shelter.

He digs a shallow hole quickly and fills it with water. He turns over Wilbur’s wrist to check his health.

“2 hearts,” he tells Niki. “He’s on 2 hearts. Do you have any food?”

“Yeah, I’ll get it.” She nods.

“Phil?” Wilbur groans.

“Will? Will, can you hear me?”

“I want it gone.”

“What? What’s going on?”

“Phil, please, make it go away.”

“What? Come on son, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“I hear a voice, it’s tormenting me. It’s screaming constantly and I can’t take it!”

Wilbur curls up in a ball, grabbing at his hair. His fingers tug harshly on the tufts of brown as tears streak down his face.

Philza lifts him into his lap to hold him, being careful not to touch any harsh burns.

“Will, hey, hey,” he whispers. “You’re hearing voices?”

“One, it’s so fucking loud, Phil. It showed me what I did to L’manberg. I’m a fucking monster, aren’t I?”

“No, no, Will. You’re not a monster. That was the realm’s code. The corruption is gone, I’ve dug deep into the realm’s code and there’s nothing that could be corrupting you. I remember you on SMPEarth, you weren’t corrupt there either. You’re just you. Wilbur. My son.”

_ It’s a nice sentiment, but it’s false. There’s something completely fucked up with me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is on the short side, I just needed to steer the story in the right path and I'm running out of energy to write fluffy dialogue. If you've read "Midnight" then you'll know I definitely like to stay in the internal-dialogue area with thoughts rather than also conveying body language at the same time.


	4. the ghost of you is close to me

Wilbur spends the next few days sulking in a shelter underground connected to the lake. Every waking hour is plagued by whispers of the voice, sometimes transforming into a roaring beast who screams for death. Instead of farming food and building a house, he begs and pleads for the voice to stop.

\--------------

“Will?” Niki announces her arrival. “How are you doing?”

“Better,” he mumbles. “Still loud, but it’s better.”

“Do you want to try coming out? We’re having a gathering by the community house today. It’s a beautiful sunset and we’re supposed to get a full moon tonight.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be out in a bit.” Wilbur nods, rubbing his wrist roughly as he smiles at her.

**_Are you sure you want them to see you?_ **

_ They’re my friends. _

**_Then they did they not care when you died?_ **

_ That’s false. They did care. _

**_Whenever you hung around as a ghost, they shook their heads and groaned at your bullshit._ **

_ I was a fucking ghost of course that would be weird. _

**_You also traumatized them._ **

He shakes his head and stands up, slightly woozy from the lack of movement. Taking a deep breath, he enters the lake and swims to the surface. In the distance, he sees a campfire with everyone around it. Even Charlie, Jack, and Schlatt are here as well.

As he walks closer, he hears joyous laughter. It feels so familiar yet forgein.

\--------------

“Tubbo we did it!” Tommy cheers, leaping into the sky. “WE’RE FUCKING INDEPENDENT!!”

Fundy and Tubbo absorb his boisterous energy and start celebrating as well. Wilbur just stands there, a grin on his face. 

“This calls for a celebration, drinks at the L’manberg pub?” Wilbur chimes in.

“HELL YEAH!”

\--------------

“Hey Wilbur!” Ranboo greets, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“Hey guys,” Wilbur nods with a soft smile.

“How are you doing big man?” Tommy asks. “You gave us quite a scare.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling better now. I think I just kind of got lost in my thoughts.”

Philza gives him a knowing look that says  **_“Come talk to me later?”_ **

Wilbur responds with a miniscule nod that only Philza would understand.

“Come sit,” Niki pats the log next to her. “Tubbo’s grabbing some drinks for us. He found a beehive a few days ago so he’s decided to make mead.”

Wilbur does his damn best to keep up with the conversation… but he can’t help but fade into the background. Like a ghost, he becomes irrelevant. 

**_Blow it up._ **

_ No. Shut up. _

**_You want it gone._ **

_ STOP _

**_You know you want it._ **

_ Shut the fuck up. These are my friends. I will not hurt them. _

**_Yes you will. It’s in your nature. At your core you want peace, you want community. You crave a place in society. But when it boils down to your actions, you feel helpless. Desperate. Hopeful for a community to accept you. You made it, then you got cast out. That shattered you. I am the remains of that shattered desire. When you got reformed in this realm, you got revived by the trauma and pain that caused me still stuck._ **

_ What are you talking about? You’re just my intrusive thoughts. _

**_I’m that and so much more. You become self destructive under extreme stress. That’s why you blew your country up. Why you made your dad kill you. Because you couldn’t fucking handle a community that did not accept you. It’s pathetic, quite frankly, how much validation you crave from people._ **

“Will?” Philza calls. “You still with us bud?”

He shakes his head slightly, his head buried into his hands.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” he says suddenly, standing up.

“It’s just past sunset, you’re nocturnal, Wilbur,” Niki points out. “This isn’t healthy.”

“I know it’s fucking not!” He snaps. “There’s this fucking voice that’s hammering in my head that I need to- AGH! That I need to kill everyone. It cries for blood and tells me I’m shit. No matter what I do I can’t shut it out! It’s so fucking loud,” He sobs before heading back to the lake.

He can hear Philza and Niki behind him, but he doesn’t really care nor want to talk to them. In a last ditch effort to lose them, he turns invisible and slips beneath the ground.

“Crap, we lost him.” Philza mutters from above.

He dives deeper and deeper into the rock until he lands in a cave. Away from everyone on the surface, he feels himself slip further and further.

**_My time is coming. You can’t do anything about it._ **

Dying wouldn’t do him much good, especially with the infinite respawns. He needs a way to perma-death though. He craves it. He needs to get rid of the demons plaguing his mind.

He pulls out his communicator and starts typing.

**I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I need to be gone. There is nothing good I can bring you. This voice is taunting me, saying I deserve to be dead. And it’s true. It’s nothing that you can fix, it can only be destroyed. If I’m left alive, I will slowly self-destruct for years. I will kill the ones I love. I am a danger to society. So please, just let me go.**

He decides to save it as a draft, not wanting to send it until he fully decides what to do.

\--------------

He’s farmed enough gunpowder and sand for today. It’s been a week since his breakdown at the community fire. His physical body has slowly been eaten away by hunger and dehydration, but it doesn’t bother him. It keeps the voice at bay.

It’s sunset right now and he’s crafting up TNT in the dark, damp cave carved into the side of the lake. It’s eerily familiar, but he can’t quite remember the exact memory that it brings up. 

“Will?”

“Yeah Niki?”

“Can I come in?”

“I’ll be out in a moment, I want to see the new moon. Would you like to watch the stars with me?”

“Yeah!” 

He finishes up his crafting before heading up to the surface. He relishes in the chilly feeling of the water. It feels comforting after so much fighting. 

“Hey Will,” Niki smiles. “How are you today?”

“I’m alright, still dealing with this headache of a voice. I don’t know how Techno does it.”

_ Maybe that’s why he’s so antisocial. Because his voice is also saying he needs to kill communities and organizations. _

“I’m sorry you have to deal with it,” She murmurs, stroking his hand.

“Well, it is what it is. And I don’t think it’ll be around forever.”

“Have you been eating?” She questions.

“Yeah, but my metabolism as a phantom is too high. It’s hard to keep up.” Wilbur lies smoothly. “I’m alright, though. I’m being careful with it.”

“Ok, I just want to make sure you’re doing well. After everything we’ve been through, it seems like everyone is thriving but I still want to be here for you because I can tell this is affecting you differently.”

“You’re always so perceptive, Niki,” he smiles.

They continue to talk into the night until every one of Niki’s sentences are dotted with yawns.

“Alright I think you should go to bed,” He snickers. “It’s past midnight.”

“Alright, good night Wilbur.” She sighs.

“Good night,” He turns and dips his head under water to embrace her fully.

_ I love you, Niki Nihachu. I always will. _

He lets her go before retreating to his shelter. It seems like he’s moved in, completely ignoring the skeleton of a house on land.

He grabs the five stacks of TNT he managed to collect and a few flint and steels. Then, he turns invisible and starts looking for caves.

Feeling his hands place TNT is familiar. It’s soothing almost. It means every bit of pain and suffering is about to come to an end. 

\--------------

He takes out his communicator and sends the message he drafted before striking the flint and steel. He burns his hand with a spark, but it doesn’t bother him.

He slinks back, out of the blast zone as the TNT flashes. Then, his head is rocked by a massive explosion. The scent of gunpowder doesn’t quite reach his nose, since he’s underground, but his memories make up for it. If he closes his eyes, he can almost hear the celebratory music of L’manberg in the background.

_ Goodbye, Niki. I’m sorry. _ He thinks before looking down and diving deeper.

His body phases through the layers of the Earth rapidly, nearing a free fall. Then, he feels nothing. He looks up and sees a black sheet of bedrock.

The void swallows him whole with the chilly embrace of death. The phantom is screaming in his head, trying to save him. It’s too late. He’s already a goner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s a wrap! A really short chapter tbh but I was losing energy to write in a bunch of dialogue. If you can identify all of the songs I got the story/chapter titles from, kudos to you!
> 
> I will say, this is not my best work but if you’re interested in reading more you should definitely go check out Midnight!
> 
> I’m also a Twitch streamer and I’ll be live every weekend! I stream MC and I also have a great community over on Discord! You can find the links to my stuff in my Twitch profile if you’re interested!


End file.
